My four-year-old daughter is in her second year of preschool and still has accidents occasionally. Recently she’s been invited along on day trips by a couple of her classmates. I hesitate to let her go because her accidents usually happen when she’s in an unfamiliar place. How can she participate in these activities without being embarrassed?
Time is your ally in such situations: The older your child is and the more practice she has had controlling her bladder even in unfamiliar settings, the less likely she will be to have accidents when off with her friends.
You can help her avoid such incidents by talking with her about the need to monitor her body’s signals, to tell an adult that she needs to go, and to adjust to different kinds of bathrooms.
Applaud all of her efforts to be self-sufficient (finding a bathroom herself, dealing with her own clothes), since increased confidence will help her avoid future accidents. And don’t let your own concerns about embarrassment keep you from letting her share fun times with friends.
When you do send her off for the day, pack a small bag with extra clothes and wipes for the friend’s parent to take along. Most parents will understand your concern and handle such a situation tactfully.