Some families are composed of both adoptive and biological children. And that can sometimes create conflict, anger, and hurt feelings. Remember, all children will find reasons to argue.
Each child in your family should understand her own origins, and those of her brothers and sisters. But no matter what her background, every youngster should be treated the same by you, your spouse, and the other siblings.
Sometimes academic or athletic differences between your children can seem exaggerated because of their different origins. For instance, if your adoptive child does not do as well in school as your biological child, their differing backgrounds can heighten any tensions that might emerge because of their respective school performances. Having a chronically ill or physically impaired child in the home will add to the usual stress within families. Sometimes the adoptive child may feel "different" to begin with, and if her sibling excels in areas where she doesn't, she could feel that she is less than a full member of the family.
With all of your children—whether they are adopted or biological—look for their strengths, and focus on those as much as possible. As one mother told her child: "Yes, you are having a hard time with math right now. But I know you will be able to learn it. And there are many other things you can do that make you very special."
As you raise your adopted youngster, keep in mind that adopted children are, first and foremost, children. In the same way, adoptive parents are parents. There is a lot of joy and satisfaction in raising children, and your relationship with your adoptive child can be as deep, loving, and long-lasting as any parent-child relationship.
