By: Maria H. Rahmandar, MD, FAAP & Michael D. Colburn, MD, MEd, FAAP
In every community across the U.S., parents feel worried about the mental health challenges their children face—and with good reason. Nearly
1 in 5 young people aged 12 to 17 have a mental health diagnosis. Millions more struggle with mental health issues that haven’t been identified yet.
If you’re concerned about your tween or teen’s mental health here’s what to know about getting more support and where to start.
The healing value of early care, and why you shouldn’t wait
It’s common for parents to feel overwhelmed when a teen is struggling. Even those who’ve managed their own mental health challenges can feel unsure about what to do next.
While some risks run in families, today’s teens are also navigating stressors that may be very different from what previous generations experienced. But there's good news, too:
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Research has given us a better foundation for understanding and treating mental health conditions in young people. For example, we know that young brains
continue to develop well into the 20s. This means that tweens and teens can face unique challenges during this life period but can also readily learn coping skills that help them feel better now while building resilience for life.
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Early treatment can help identify mental health concerns before they become more severe. It also helps your teen’s care team better understand their unique needs. Because symptoms can change over time, and some teens experience more than one condition, treatment is often tailored. It may include therapy, family support, school resources, healthy lifestyle strategies and, when appropriate, medication. The goal is to support your teen’s well-being with an approach that works best for them.
Talking with your teen about mental health symptoms
When you notice patterns that concern you, make time to
talk with your teen. Are the
signs you see making it hard for them to cope in school, with friends or out in the community? These changes can help you open a conversation with your teen that prepares you to take the next step.
Let them know it’s safe to tell you anything without fear of judgment, blame or punishment.
While it can be difficult for parents to resist jumping into problem-solving mode, your role is not to immediately solve every problem. Instead, focus on listening, understanding and supporting their health.
Having an open conversation with your teen’s doctor
The pediatrician or family physician who follows your child’s overall health can be your first-line partner in seeking help. Mental and physical health are closely connected, and your doctor can help put symptoms in context.
Involve your teen as much as possible in planning for this visit.
They may resist the idea of seeing their doctor or even deny they have a problem. Let them know you understand their reluctance, and encourage them to give it a try. You might say:
"We wouldn’t let you walk on a sore leg if we thought something might be wrong. We also can’t ignore your mental health."
Working toward a diagnosis
Pediatricians and family physicians are trained to help teens open up about their health. The doctor will talk with your family and also
one-on-one with your teen to help everyone better understand what they're going through.
Even in supportive families, teens may struggle to share how they feel. They might worry about disappointing others, being a burden, facing disapproval or upsetting those they care about. Private time with a healthcare provider can help create a safe space for honest conversations, so important concerns aren't left unspoken.
Pinpointing a mental health diagnosis often takes time.
Unlike other kinds of illness, medical teams don’t have simple diagnostic tests that show what’s happening. Your child’s doctor will recommend care and treatment based on symptoms and the difficulties they cause. They may refer you and your teen to mental health specialists who can evaluate your child and suggest next steps.
Typical teen drama, or something more?
Many parents wonder whether their moody, irritable tween or teen is simply going through age-appropriate struggles that will someday pass. Pediatricians and other health providers can help with questions like these. The decision about when to seek professional care centers around how well a young person copes.
When symptoms consistently keep them from meeting the challenges of daily life, a mental health evaluation is a wise idea.
Common forms of therapy and how they work:
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Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps teens hear their own thoughts and notice how they act in specific situations. This groundwork helps them change how they think so they can also change how they respond to people, situations and challenges.
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Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) helps kids who have strong emotional (and sometimes physical) reactions to certain situations, people or other triggers. Gradually, they learn to regulate intense emotions in real time so they can calmly cope when challenges arise.
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Family-centered therapy looks at family patterns and communication styles for ways to improve routines, actions and thinking to reduce conflict and foster calm, caring support. Though the goal is to support your teen, this method can be helpful for the whole family.
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Family systems therapy dives deeper into life patterns going back several generations, building a better understanding of how family members’ choices and struggles might affect your teen in the present. Teens often find they can release resentments they carry and practice self-forgiveness too.
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Trauma‑focused therapies help tweens and teens who have seen or suffered violence, abandonment, abuse, sudden loss and more. Feelings that have been buried can be released safely and gradually to loosen their grip on a child’s thoughts and behavior. This approach helps young people better understand emotions, develop coping skills and reduce the ongoing impact
trauma can have on daily life.
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Group therapy can help teens build healthy skills, find peer support, and discover that they’re not alone. Being with kids and learning how to share their struggles without fear or shame can give them a healing sense of belonging.
Will my teen need medication?
Many mental health conditions are treated without prescription medicines. But in some cases, particularly with more serious conditions,
medication can be helpful on its own or alongside therapy to ease symptoms and improve functioning. For example, teens with depression and other mood disorders often benefit from medications that help them engage more fully in therapy and life.
If your teen’s primary doctor believes medication can make a difference, they may prescribe it or refer your teen to a specialist for further evaluation. Pediatricians and family doctors often diagnose and treat common conditions such as anxiety, depression and ADHD. In some situations, particularly when symptoms are more complex or severe, a
psychiatrist may add specialized expertise, working with your teen, your family and the primary care doctor to develop a coordinated treatment plan.
Where teens and families can find mental health care
Talking with your teen’s doctor or mental health specialist is usually the first step in determining where they will receive treatment. (See below for lifesaving tips on handling mental health emergencies.) Depending on where you live, your child may receive care through:
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Community health clinics or private mental health centers that treat kids on an outpatient, intensive outpatient or partial hospitalization basis. Your teen continues to live at home and may attend school while dropping in to receive care for different amounts of time depending on the intensity of the treatment being provided.
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School-based mental health programs that offer free screenings, resources and referrals to doctors, clinics and other resources close to home. These programs can be especially effective in helping kids and families identify mental health concerns early and recommending care that is affordable and local.
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Telehealth platforms that give your teen access to therapists and mental health specialists that may not be available where you live. Many parts of the country have serious shortages of mental health providers, making telehealth a workable solution—and one that helps kids get care sooner.
Tip: If your teen resists telehealth, privacy may be a concern. Finding them a quiet, confidential space for appointments can help.
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Hospitals that treat teens in crisis, often through emergency departments or immediate care clinics. Teens may be admitted for brief inpatient stays to help them become stable enough to be discharged and continue treatment outside of the hospital.
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Residential treatment centers care for teens who need more intensive or more lengthy treatment. Though many focus on a specific group of mental health conditions—for example, mood disorders—others treat many kinds of mental health concerns, such as eating disorders, substance use, self-harm or suicidal thoughts and actions. Teens live on campus while taking part in group and individual therapy often over weeks.
When to call or text 988 for crisis support
Every year, millions of young people need urgent mental health care. The
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline offers 24/7 support across the U.S. in English, Spanish and other languages.
You can call, text or chat with 988 if your child or teen:
Thinks about or threatens
suicide
Self-harms with knives, weapons or any dangerous tool or device
Swallows pills, household cleaners or any potential poisons
Threatens to harm you or anyone else
Note: 988 is not only for situations where someone is actively suicidal or in immediate danger. It can also support teens and families experiencing severe emotional distress, worsening mental health symptoms, concerns about safety or situations that simply feel overwhelming and urgent. Reaching out early can help prevent a crisis from escalating.
More ways to support your tween or teen
Open heart, open mind
It can be difficult to talk with a teen who is withdrawing. It can also be easy to blame young people for the mistakes they make, especially when these missteps might harm their mental health. Still, scolding your teen for indulging in too much
screen time or quitting the soccer team is unlikely to help. Instead, focus on setting clear, consistent boundaries while offering guidance and support. Showing curiosity about their choices and expressing genuine concern for their well-being can open doors for healing.
Make it a family priority.
When your teen’s care plan calls for family therapy, changes in home routines or multiple trips to treatment each week, make these a priority. Following through can be tough when you’re juggling work, household and other commitments. But your actions teach your child that health and self-care always come first. Reach out to your support system to help share the responsibility and lighten the load.
Zero stigma
Don’t tolerate talk or actions that might make your teen feel bad about needing mental health treatment. Remind whoever’s doing the shaming that we don’t respond this way when people need care for a broken leg, a heart problem or a skin rash. Health is health, and mental health is central to every person’s well-being.
Celebrate progress.
Every teen responds to praise differently, so choose the approach that works best for your child. If kind words around the family table are welcome, don’t hold back! If they prefer quiet recognition, draw them aside with a smile, a hug and a warm message of encouragement. Years later, they’ll remember how you respected and supported them when it mattered most.
More information
About Dr. Rahmandar
Maria Rahmandar, MD, FAAP, is a board-certified pediatrician and adolescent medicine physician. She serves as the Medical Director for the
Substance Use & Prevention Program at Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago and is an Assistant Professor at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. Within the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), Dr. Rahmandar serves on the Council on Adolescents and Young Adults and a co-author of its revised clinical report on suicide; co-facilitates a learning collaborative on depression and anxiety; is an E-Cigarette Faculty Expert, and is a subject matter expert for the
AAP National Center of Excellence: Creating a Healthy Digital Ecosystem for Children and Youth. Her clinical, research and advocacy interests include adolescent substance use, mental health and birth control.
About Dr. Colburn
Michael D. Colburn, MD, MEd, FAAP, is a board-certified pediatrician and adolescent medicine physician. He is a Clinical Associate Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Iowa Carver College of Medicine and serves as Program Director of the Pediatric Residency Program and Medical Director of the Adolescent Clinic. Within the AAP, Dr. Colburn serves on the Council on Adolescents and Young Adults, where he contributes to national initiatives in adolescent health and medical education, and is a co-author of upcoming clinical reports addressing depression and anxiety. He also serves as Co-Chair of the Iowa Chapter Committee on Mental Health and previously held leadership roles within the Section on Pediatric Trainees and the PREP Adolescent Medicine Editorial Board. His clinical, scholarly and advocacy interests include adolescent and young adult mental health, gender-affirming care, and medical education.