As parents, we warn our kids to be careful who they talk with on the internet. But that advice might not fully protect them from increasing threats to their health and safety.
Concern about internet risks spiked as a violent online network known as
764 targeted young users.
When violent online networks exploit kids
Using fake identities, predators in this network make friends with young people on social media, gaming sites or mobile apps.
Thousands of kids have been drawn in as scammers asked them to do something sexual or violent, document it and share photos or videos of it. This explicit content is sent throughout the network (and sometimes elsewhere) to give predators control over their victims.
Some parents I've talked with wondered out loud if this story was true—which isn't surprising, since our world is filled with fake news. But the
FBI has cracked down on 764, and some network leaders
have been arrested. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean an immediate end to the network itself or the kind of exploitation it practices.
Here's what to know about these scams, the terrible effects they can have, and tips that can help safeguard your teen.
How sextortion scammers operate
As social media, gaming and online apps have opened a new world for our children, far too many have been targeted by predators. Even before 764 came on the scene, hundreds of thousands of kids in the U.S. had been victimized in
sextortion schemes.
Sextortion defined
Sextortion happens when someone threatens to share sexual images or videos to manipulate another person. In a new
policy statement, the American Academy of Pediatrics identifies sextortion as a form of image-based sexual abuse and exploitation. While it can affect individuals of all ages, children are particularly vulnerable.
Typical sextortion traps
Perpetrators, who might pretend to be near the child’s age, reach out with false promises of friendship or romance. The typical trap involves building trust with the child or teen, then sending an explicit photo and asking for one in return. When the teen agrees, the predator asks for more images or videos or demands money. Threats to "out" them by posting what they've already sent—so that everyone can see it, parents included—can terrify kids into silence and cooperation.
Schemes like these have taken a violent turn. Predators might demand that kids cut or stab themselves on camera or carve a number or name into their skin ("fansigning"). Kids have been bullied into posting videos or pictures of themselves harming animals. When young victims don't give in, predators threaten to "dox" them (reveal their identity) or "swat" them (send SWAT teams to arrest them). In the worst cases, kids have been encouraged to kill themselves.
Deaths by suicide spur parents to fight back
Pauline Stewart, the mother of a young sextortion victim, shared her son's story in hopes of warning other parents. Her son, Ryan, a high-school senior, fell prey to an online scammer pretending to be a young girl interested in him. The scammer sent an explicit photo and asked Ryan to share one. When he did, the scammer threatened to post the photo on social media if Ryan didn't send money.
Fearing for his reputation, Ryan followed through and sent money. Then, when the scammer demanded more money than Ryan could get, they urged him to end his life—which he did. In a note Ryan left behind, he shared his anguish and embarrassment about what had happened.
Another teen, Gavin Guffey, died by suicide at 17 after being manipulated and sextorted online. His father, a South Carolina state representative, helped pass
Gavin's Law, making online sextortion a felony in that state, punishable by up to 20 years in prison when the victim is under 18.
What advice do you have for safeguarding my child?
First, realize that
all kids are vulnerable.
Most who fall prey to these schemes are between 13 and 17, but authorities have seen victims as young as 9. There's some evidence that girls, trans kids and gender-fluid kids face greater risks than straight males; however, kids of all genders and orientations have been bullied into submission.
Take full advantage of protective digital media tools.
Set up a
family media plan that limits screen time and warns kids about possible dangers. Use parental controls and privacy settings on your child's devices to control their movement on the web. But don't expect these actions to do the entire job. You need to engage your child in an honest, ongoing dialogue about internet dangers.
In talking to your child, keep two goals in mind.
The first is giving them tools to help spot predators and say "no" to their demands. The second is making sure they feel 100% safe talking to you about what happened—no shame, no blame. You'll be there for them, no matter what happens.
Explain online risks in age-appropriate ways.
For example, you might tell an upper-elementary-school child, "The internet is helpful for homework and talking with friends, but bad things can happen there. People have asked kids to post pictures without any clothes on, or to do harmful things to themselves or even their pets. This is so dangerous that I want you to come to me immediately if you ever see anything like it online."
Share specific online safety tips.
The goal is for your teen to understand the risks so they can make safe choices. The points below give you somewhere to start, but keep an eye on your child's reaction. They might feel so upset that they need a break (and a big, reassuring hug) after a few minutes. Be sure to restart the conversation later, and keep the door open for their questions and concerns.
- Pause before you send anything private or intimate, including explicit images or videos, to anyone. This includes real-life friends, since a scammer could pose as someone you know. Once a photo or video is out there, it's out of your control—no matter who you send it to.
- Remember that livestreams can live beyond the moment. If someone is pressuring you to do something sexual or risky on camera, keep in mind that it can be recorded and misused.
- Block out hackers. Shut down or stash your phone, computer or tablet when you're not using them. And since hackers can activate webcams remotely, put a piece of tape or a sticky note over them when you're not online.
- Be selective about who you connect with. If a friend request, message of offer comes from someone you don’t recognize in real life, it’s totally OK to ignore or block. Scammers often pretend to be someone they’re not.
- Protect personal details like passwords or other identifiers. Avoid sharing them even if it's a friend asking. Hackers can get access to this info without your friend even knowing (or pose as friends).
- Use passwords that are hard to guess. No birthdays, pets' names, addresses or anything a scammer could guess from your online posts.
- Be cautious with links sent by anyone you don't know personally. The sender may seem to be your favorite celebrity or game or online store. But it can easily be a phishing scammer trying to get your personal information.
- Whenever you feel weird or uncomfortable online, take it as a warning sign. Leave the platform, game or chat and get help from a parent or trusted adult.
If my child has already been targeted, what should I do?
- Kids who become victims may face long-term health effects, from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) to chronic anxiety or depression. Even if the incident seems like a small blip in time, watch for signs that your child is struggling. (See "Teen Mental Health: How to Know When Your Child Is Struggling.")
- Start by reassuring your child that they've done nothing wrong. Hundreds of thousands of U.S. kids—and millions worldwide—have been there too.
- Support your child in reporting the crime through the
CyberTipLine, the nation's largest reporting system for online exploitation of kids. Reports can also be filed with
your nearest FBI field office or the
Department of Homeland Security.
Just talking about their experiences can be devastating for young victims. Let your child know that their pediatrician or family doctor is ready to help, especially if they feel
anxious or
depressed. Reassure them that self-care is a smart, powerful response to struggles that threaten our health and well-being.
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