Ever wonder why your kids can be so different, even though they share the same parents? Two big forces shape every child:
nature and
nurture. These work together in unique ways for each child, creating both similarities and differences among siblings.
Nature: the role of genetics
Nature refers to the traits your child inherits from you—their genetic blueprint. Because siblings share the same parents, you might expect them to be very similar. But that's not always the case.
Children have only about a 50% chance of expressing any particular inherited trait. This is true whether it's physical appearance, personality, intelligence, talents or health. And even when traits are shared, they can show up differently in each child. Consider this:
Researchers have found that siblings tend to be more similar in their physical traits than in their odds of developing the same diseases.
Siblings may resemble each other in intellect and other psychological traits early in life. But these similarities generally fade by adulthood, while differences become more pronounced.
Siblings with similar intelligence may differ in school achievement. That's because academic success can be strongly affected by the different life experiences of each child.
Even identical twins can develop distinct personalities.
Nurture: the power of experience
Nurture is everything outside of genetics—the experiences and environment that influence your child's development. This includes, for example:
social factors such as relationships with siblings, peers, parents and other adults
environmental influences like illnesses, accidents, nutrition and cultural experiences
how children see themselves and others, past experiences, self-expectations, and the expectations others have of them
Siblings share many experiences. But, overall, most of their experiences are unique. Different teachers, friends, hobbies and even how they interpret the same event can lead to big differences.
In early school years, for example, heredity and shared experiences play a big role in intelligence and academic achievement. However, as children grow, they have more unshared experiences. This gradually creates more differences. Siblings even perceive and interpret shared events differently; these different perceptions can be important in shaping a child’s development and self-image.
Bottom line
Nature and nurture work together to make each child one of a kind. Genetics set the stage, but life experiences write the script. That's why siblings can be alike in some ways yet completely different in others.
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