By: Michelle Loy, MD, FAAP
Modern life can make it hard for all of us to get enough rest. If you or your kids feel tired most of the time, what should you do?
The first step is understanding how sleep influences mental and physical health. Keep reading to learn more and find tips to help your whole family recharge and build healthier sleep habits.
Sleep by the numbers
A reported
44% of children don't get enough sleep for their age.
77% of teens sleep less than
recommended.
Kids with regular bedtimes are
half as likely to feel tired during the day.
- Poor sleep is linked to attention problems, behavior issues and mood changes.
Good sleep helps all humans think and work better
Sleep is essential for a baby's growing brain, especially during the first year of life. It helps the brain develop and strengthens learning and memory.
As children grow, getting enough sleep helps them focus, do better in school and manage their behavior and emotions. Sleep also helps the brain organize and store what children learn each day.
What happens in the brain when we sleep?
To explain the link between brain health and sleep, researchers point to what happens during a healthy sleep cycle.
During sleep, the brain regulates neurotransmitters (chemical messengers) like norepinephrine, serotonin and acetylcholine that help you stay alert and think clearly when you're awake.
Toxins are cleared away and brain tissues are repaired to help us learn, weigh options, and problem-solve.
Memories are drawn together and stored so we can use them to meet new challenges.
During dream (REM) sleep, a part of the brain called the
amygdala gets very active. This supports us in handling shocks and stressors without getting too overwhelmed.
Body-wide benefits from good sleep
While we're snoozing:
Hormones that control appetite are released, helping us maintain a healthy weight.
Stress-busting hormones flow freely, getting us ready for everyday challenges.
Growth hormones help repair muscles, strengthen our immune systems and rebuild cells.
The heart and lungs slow down, giving blood vessels a much-needed rest.
What happens when we don't get enough quality sleep
We feel more anxious, irritable, confused, less patient, less prepared and less happy overall.
It becomes harder to control our emotions. We have trouble staying calm when things don't go our way or get upset easily over small problems.
We feel less hopeful that we can deal with tough assignments or resolve big problems.
At school, kids may have difficulty paying attention in class, completing homework, finishing tasks and show less interest in learning.
We might argue and disagree more.
Even just a few nights of too little sleep can make it harder to handle our feelings in a healthy way. Over time, these thoughts and feelings—all fueled by lack of sleep—can lead to
anxiety,
depression and other mental health problems.
Our physical health can also suffer because:
Lack of sleep makes it harder to fight off germs that cause colds, flu and other diseases.
We eat more to compensate for missing energy, which can cause weight gain.
Bones, muscles and other tissues that don't get enough rest may not hold up during sports and workouts, leading to lasting injuries.
Good sleep for everyone in the family: the ultimate checklist
Here's what parents can do to set the stage for healthy sleep for kids, teens and themselves.
✅ Create a comfortable, quiet sleep spot.
Start with the bed. A supportive mattress with the right sheets and blankets will keep you comfortable all night. Change your bedding with the seasons to ensure year-round comfort.
Turn off digital noise. Make sure your sleeping area is a TV, phone, laptop and tablet-free zone. If you watch or listen to content before bed, do that in another room—and avoid
frighening digital content within 2 hours of bedtime. Skip
violent content, news and talk shows, social media fights and high-anxiety dramas. (Keep in mind that little children shouldn't see this content at all.)
Reserve beds for sleeping. Encourage kids not to do homework, surf the internet or play digital games there.
Add soothing sounds. Try relaxing music, nature sounds or simple silence. Set quiet hours for your family to avoid noise. Use soft earplugs or headphones to block out noise you can't control, such as street sounds.
Embrace the dark. A dark room promotes sleep and healthy levels of
melatonin, a natural hormone that adjusts sleep and wakefulness. (This is another reason that screens aren't welcome in sleeping spaces.) If you charge your electronics overnight, set up a family charging station away from bedrooms. If a little one feels fearful in the dark, try a night light in the hall near their door. This will shed minimum light while giving comfort.
Check the thermostat. Cooler room temperatures—somewhere between 60°F and 67°F—have been shown to support healthy sleep. Since comfort levels vary from person to person, put a non-allergenic blanket in bedrooms so warmth-lovers can add a layer.
Relax with scent. Lavender and chamomile aromatherapy has been proven to help people fall asleep, even in noisy hospital settings. Stick with diffusers rather than skin creams. Use products
made only with essential oils that don't release harmful chemicals into the air.
Try a warm bath. Showering, soaking or enjoying a sauna a little before bed helps many people fall asleep sooner. Even a warm footbath can do the trick! Remember: warm body, cool room.
✅ Create a sleep routine and stick to it.
Same time every night. Healthy sleep means going to bed and waking at the same time every day. Staying up late or sleeping in can shift your schedule drastically. If you or your tweens and teens are falling into the habit of "revenge scrolling," make a pact to quit together. (It harms healthy sleep!) Or consider using apps that limit screen time, giving your child the ability to restrict your screen time and vice versa.
Same time every morning, too. It's tempting to sleep in sometimes, but a consistent wake-up time will give structure to your sleep schedule. Most nights you'll be able to fall asleep faster with a 24-hour routine in place.
Manage stress. Even little children have worries that keep them up (like that monster under the bed or tomorrow's spelling test). Help younger kids by encouraging them to breathe deep as they imagine being safe, comfortable and far from all trouble. School-aged children and teens can practice
meditation during the day and rely on it when they need to wash stress away at night.
Try a journal. This can help when you or your child are going through an especially stressful time. Jotting down concerns lets us "empty our heads" so we can relax and drift off. Pro tip: A
gratitude journal that captures what's good about your life works well, too.
Don't fall back on old habits. When things get rough, you might want to backslide, but don't do it. For example, don't let kids fall asleep in front of the TV, even though it once worked for you. The light from screens and constant sound harm the quality of the rest they get – and it keeps them from learning how to drift off on their own.
✅ Daytime habits matter too. (A lot.)
Babies, toddlers and preschoolers need healthy naps every day. Here's a refresher on how much sleep little kids need and when.
Older children, teens and adults should limit daytime naps to 20-30 minutes max. Longer snoozing may make it harder to fall asleep later.
Everyone benefits from bright morning light. This helps set our body clocks, so we'll stay on track throughout the day.
Work out before the sun sets. Reserve sports and heavy exercise for daytime hours. Getting too revved up at night can keep you up late. (Yoga, stretching and gentle movements are usually fine and might help you relax.)
Deal with breathing problems. Snoring can destroy good sleep for everyone in hearing distance! If you or your child snores, ask the doctor to check for signs of
sleep apnea, a condition that wakes people up when they can't breathe properly during sleep.
Itches, twitches and jumps. Painful, itchy skin or chapped lips can get in the way of good rest. Talk with your pediatrician or family doctor if your child has frequent rashes, chapped skin or itchy breakouts. Children or adults may have health issues like
restless legs syndrome (RLS), which can keep you and your bedmate up all night! Regular exercise, an iron-rich diet, adequate sleep and bedtime routines that include a warm bath or massage may help with RLS.
See your doctor if these (or other health concerns) prevent you from relaxing into restful sleep.
✅Here are more relaxation techniques to try.
A cup of warm herbal tea can soothe you or your child to sleep. (Keep these sugar-free to protect teeth from cavities.)
Sleep supplements should be discussed with your pediatrician or family doctor before you try them. Not all health providers agree that melatonin, magnesium and other supplements are a good choice for kids. If you do use them,
treat supplements like medicines: store them where kids can't reach them and always give the right dose.
Massage has been shown to ease stress and enhance sleep. Full-body massage from a licensed massage therapist or hand, foot, shoulder or back rubs from a trusted loved one can enhance your sleep routine.
Acupuncture or acupressure often helps with relaxation and sleep. People often feel calm, relaxed and even sleepy after an acupuncture session. As with any supplemental treatment, ask your doctor first.
✅Avoid things that keep kids (and parents) from getting enough rest.
Some examples:
Caffeine & spicy or salty foods. Tweens and teens
drink more caffeinated drinks now than ever before, so set rules around these choices (and model good choices yourself). It's best to avoid caffeine 4 to 6 hours before bedtime. Likewise, it's wise to stop consuming salty and spicy foods at least 4 hours before bedtime. (Beyond your dinner plate, flaming-hot cheese curls and barbecue chips count too.)
Screen use before bed. Screens make it tougher to wind down at night. Autoplay, endless scrolling and late‑night alerts are built to keep users engaged, which can push bedtime later than planned and make it harder to fall asleep. Try keeping devices out of bedrooms and powering them down 30–60 minutes before lights‑out. When parents model the habit too, it helps the whole family ease into a calmer nighttime routine.
Tough conversations. Arguing with kids, teens and spouses at night is unlikely to solve anything, but it's almost guaranteed to ruin your sleep (and theirs). That makes the next day a lot harder than it needs to be.
Remember
Sleep helps our bodies and brains restore, repair, digest and prepare for what comes at us every day, all through life. Kids of every age need good sleep to grow, learn and thrive. Without it, they struggle more with the challenges of school, sports, making friends and being part of a family and community.
Getting enough rest also helps kids cope with living in a confusing and sometimes dangerous world. It supports good choices and the
resilience to stand up to social pressures. Lack of quality sleep can lead to more illness, more accidents and more injuries in children, which can cause lasting harm to young bodies.
Since sleep habits form in childhood, whatever kids and teens learn at home can help (or hurt) their well-being as adults. Digital media can disrupt sleep. Your child's pediatrician can help you put together a plan to protect every member of the family from unhealthy
digital media use and more.
More information
About Dr. Loy
 Michelle Loy, MD, FAAP, is a board-certified physician specializing in integrative and lifestyle medicine. She earned degrees from Harvard University and Weill Cornell Medical School. Dr. Loy is a Professor at the NYU Grossman School of Medicine and serves as Director of Integrative Medicine, Lifestyle Medicine and Wellness at NYU Langone. She holds leadership roles at the American College of Lifestyle Medicine and the American Academy of Pediatrics. Her clinical interests include nutrition, botanical medicine, and mental wellness across all age groups.
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